Title: S.N.A.F.U. Chapters 28 - 30

Author: Emily Sim

Email: xf_emily_sim@yahoo.ca

Disclaimers/notes: see Part 1



*********



Chapter 28



Mulder navigated his vehicle with all the precision of an Indy 

500 driver. He took the corners as fast as he dared; trying hard 

to keep his focus on the road and not the frustration he was 

feeling. He was beginning to feel as if his life was one big fuck 

over and everybody but him seemed to know what tune they were 

dancing to. 



Diana was still a sore spot between the two of them and he was 

convinced Scully's silence on the matter would end quickly when 

she heard about the picture and the prints. If he ever had 

question to doubt Diana's allegiance to him, and her part in the 

whole mess of things, her paw prints next to Krycek's cemented 

that. It was something he himself wasn't too keen on revisiting. 

It drew into question, not so much his choice where his ex was 

concerned, but whether or not he had any real choice in the first 

place; how much of his life was orchestrated by somebody else.  

He had no desire to look too deeply into that aspect of things. 



What he couldn't figure out was Krycek's motive in giving the 

information he did to Scully and, by association, to him. It 

didn't make sense. Krycek never did anything unless there was 

something in it for himself. The threads seemed to run off in so 

many different directions it was hard to see any connection. But 

he was convinced there was one. He just needed to give his brain 

time to process it all. 



Which was not right now. He swore as he swerved to avoid the rear 

end of a SUV that had pulled out in front of him. He checked the 

time and would have patted himself on the back if he hadn't 

needed both hands on the wheel. He just might make it after all. 

Which was a good thing, considering he was going to be in several 

kinds of shit when the picture and print information went down. 

He pressed harder on the accelerator. No need to give her more 

ammunition than she already had. 



***********



Scully was feeling languid. The Valium was still working its 

magic and Anna had supplied her with a blanket. She was resting 

in the now dimly lit exam room, with the lower half of her body 

elevated. She was going to have a bit of a head rush when they 

set her upright once again. 



This time she had watched the procedure on the small screen as 

Parenti guided the catheter containing the fertilized embryos 

into her uterus. She had to take the doctor's word that all five 

of them had made it safely to their destination. It was now up to 

her body to finish the process. 



She fought back a tear as she considered the odds of one of the 

embryos actually becoming the baby she so desired. It was an ache 

like no other she had ever experienced. At times her arms were 

heavy with their emptiness. It was hard, each time her mother 

mentioned a baby being welcomed into another parishioner's home, 

to not hear the slight accusation in her voice. She knew her mom 

didn't mean it, but it just hollowed out the spot a little more 

and Scully was afraid that one day there would be nothing left of 

her; that she would just disappear into the background. Was it so 

wrong for her to want something of her own? To want to fill some 

of the emptiness?



She shifted, trying to get more comfortable on the hard table. 

They were insisting on keeping her for an hour. Extra insurance, 

Anna called it. But she knew it was because this was it for her. 

Even if someone could produce more embryos, she didn't think she 

would have the emotional stamina to go through it again.  She 

closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift. 



************





Chapter 29



Skinner opened his office door to find his chair occupied, a 

plume of bluish smoke swirling above his visitor's head. He had 

known Mulder's rant would grab the man's attention, but he hadn't 

expected him to show up this quickly. Not for the first time did 

he wonder at the extent of Spender's reach.



"You rang, Mr. Skinner?" 



Skinner closed the door behind him. "This office is non smoking."



"Yes, I think you've mentioned that a time or two." He made no 

move to put out his cigarette. "It seems one of your agents is a 

little upset."



Skinner took a deep breath. It was a fine line he walked between 

Spender's organization and Mulder's work. There was no question 

in his own mind where his allegiance lay, in spite of Mulder's 

misgivings at times, but to antagonize this man did no one any 

good. He had done things he wasn't proud of, but he would not 

regret those. That line of thinking did no one any good. Best to 

keep things simple and direct. "What do you know about the little 

girl, Hannah?" 



"What makes you think I have any information?"



"It's an educated guess."



"And what are you offering in exchange?"



Skinner leaned across the desk. "Is there any humanity in you? 

Mulder is right, you are the devil." He straightened up and 

stepped back. "Get out."



"Make no mistake, Mr. Skinner, I come and go as _I_ please. Your 

agent's rant was nothing more than a mild amusement." Spender 

stood up and crushed his cigarette out in the cup Skinner had on 

his desk. "I had nothing to do with the child. I would like to 

know where she is myself. Call me if you find anything." He 

paused, "Yelling at the ceiling was a most unique way of 

requesting a meeting."



Skinner watched him slip out the back door. 



"Well, that went well." He flipped the switch that activated the 

overhead fan and unlocked the office door, deciding he needed 

clean, fresh air. 



**************



When Scully's quiet rest was interrupted by the door opening and 

the light it allowed in, she groggily realized she'd actually 

fallen asleep and that her hour must be up. She waited for Anna 

to speak and as she began to fully wake up, realized that someone 

was quietly making their way towards her. She stiffened, her 

senses alert now.  She was still lying with her feet elevated and 

facing away from the door, and struggled to try and force her 

sluggish body to respond.



"Scully?"



"Mulder. Dammit, I thought you were an intruder."



"Sorry."



He came into her view and she pulled the blanket more tightly 

around her. Her eyes had adjusted to the lower light level and 

the adrenalin rush had banished the last fuzzies caused by the 

Valium. 



"What time is it?"



"Just after five-thirty. The nurse said she'd be in to finish up 

in a minute." She felt him brush his hand along her arm. "How'd 

it go?"



"Fine." She felt him step away, the small contact lost. She knew 

her choice of words would sting, but she was hurting too. 



"That's good." There was a pause, "I'm sorry."



She hated looking up at him from this angle. He looked suitably 

contrite, but then he always managed to look the part. Usually 

his sorrow had more to do with coming up empty handed than her 

being ditched. She was tired of him always needing her 

absolution. 



"I had some new information."



"I see." And she did understand. If the circumstances had been 

different she might be able to muster a bit more tolerance, but 

this wasn't exactly him showing up late to pick her up from a 

crime scene. Sex hadn't brought familiarity. She was acutely 

aware of how little she had on, how defenseless a position she 

was in.



"Scully, I --"



The room was flooded with light as Anna entered, and Scully was 

grateful. "Time to get you upright, Dana." 



Scully had shut her eyes against the sudden brightness. "A little 

warning would have been nice, Anna."



"Here, let me get you level for a minute before you try sitting 

up."



Scully looked over to her partner who had retreated to the 

corner. "Mulder?" 



"I'll just be outside. Waiting." 



"We'll just be a minute, Mr. Mulder. I'll come get you when we're 

all ready." Anna closed the door behind him.



"Well, I guess he did make it after all Dana. Now, let me help 

you sit up. You'll likely be a bit dizzy at first."



The dizziness wasn't as problematic as the pins and needles in 

her legs and her freezing feet. She was glad she'd taken Anna's 

advice and brought warm socks. 



"I'll leave you to get dressed. Dr. Parenti will be in before you 

go with any final instructions. I'll let him know your partner is 

here so he can talk to the both of you,"



"Thanks so much, Anna." She reached out to give her hand a 

squeeze. "I've appreciated all you've done."



"You think good thoughts, positive thoughts, and it will all work 

out okay." She patted Scully's hand. "Now dress." She closed the 

door quietly. 





**********



It was a bit of a surreal moment for Mulder. He was leaning 

against the table where an hour or so ago his partner had lain 

and been impregnated -- or was it an attempted impregnation -- he 

wasn't sure of the correct terminology. It was the first time 

she'd allowed him this close to the process. The last time he'd 

discussed 'Dana's attempted pregnancy' had been on the other side 

of Dr. Parenti's massive oak desk. And that had involved a whole 

lot of medical terminology he'd needed her to decipher for him 

afterwards. And paper work, there were always papers that needed 

to be signed. Jacking off in a cup had been the easiest part of 

the whole process. 



"Mr. Mulder?"



With a start he realized the doctor was addressing him. It took 

him a moment to process the question he'd been asked while off in 

his own head. Rest. He'd been talking about Scully resting. 



"She needs to stay off her feet?" 





"Yes. Better if she could keep her feet elevated. No heavy 

lifting, try and keep stress to a minimum, and no intercourse for 

two weeks." The doctor pushed a piece of paper across to them. 

"It's all here."



Mulder reached for the paper, noting the bright red flush on his 

partner's face. They had never defined their relationship to the 

doctor, and he wondered if there had been evidence of their 

activity from last night, prompting Parenti's inclusion of sex in 

his verbal instructions. Or maybe it was something he said the 

two times Scully had done this solo and it was standard fare. He 

had no way of knowing and there had been no reason for Scully to 

say anything to him.



Hell, the other two times she hadn't allowed him anywhere near 

her. He found out about the first failure only when he'd asked. 

And it had taken him a week after her appointment to get up the 

nerve to do so. The second time she was a little more 

considerate, but that was only because her appointment had been 

the morning Kersh sent her to New York without him.  She'd flown 

straight out afterwards and then the whole thing with Fellig 

happened. He felt sick all over again as he remembered his mad 

dash to New York, wondering if he was going to find out she 

hadn't made it.  Wondering if they'd managed to get her pregnant 

this time, only to lose the baby because Kersh had partnered her 

with an agent who should have been left pushing pencils. 



"Dr. Parenti?" It had just occurred to Mulder, "what about her 

abdominal injury?"



The doctor seemed startled, and not just because Mulder had 

interrupted him mid sentence. "I thought.... Dana?"



"It's fine."



Mulder watched the doctor regard his partner, and one of the 

reasons she had been reluctant to include him slowly dawned on 

him.



"I had been led to understand that Mr. Mulder was aware of the 

risks involved as a result of your injuries." 



"He is." 



Her eyes silently pleaded with him to let it go, and he would. 

For now. He gave her a slight nod and watched as she visibly 

relaxed.



"I just need a refresher, if that's okay?" He was pretty sure 

Scully's version of things would be missing key parts.



"There are risks with any procedure and Dana needed to weigh the 

viability of the embryos against time."



With that one statement Mulder heard loud and clear that Parenti 

had surmised their relationship accurately. He wondered if there 

was any part left for him to play.



"The longer Dana waited, the less likely the outcome would be 

successful. Frankly, if we'd had the time I would have insisted 

we wait a little longer. While her injury has healed, there is 

the possibility of complications. In particular, things could be 

problematic when we look at the odds of Invitro producing 

multiples. One of the options we discussed was the possibility of 

selective abortion should that occur. One fetus will put some 

stress on the abdominal wall, but two or more might compromise 

things."



"Selective abortion?" He knew Scully. If she had agreed to that 

it was only in return for getting what she wanted, which was 

going ahead with the IVF against the doctor's recommendation. 

There was no way she would go through with something like that 

otherwise. He looked over at her. She had been unusually quiet 

throughout the exchange.



"Scully?"



"It's been a long day. Can we go over this again later?"



Her use of again wasn't fooling anybody and he wasn't going to 

play games with her health. "What kind of stress are we talking 

about here?" 



"One fetus will put some strain on the wall as it develops and 

grows. If there is a pregnancy, we will monitor the situation 

closely. There is the possibility of inducing early delivery, 

before the fetus has gotten too large, it's warranted. Planning 

for a pre term birth is different than having a premature 

delivery. We would have time to intervene medically, giving the 

fetus the appropriate surfactant drugs to aid in lung 

development, for instance."  



"How often is this done?" Mulder wanted to reach over and take 

his partner's hand, reassure her he had her best interests in 

mind, but refrained. He could feel her discomfort and her anger. 



"The delivery would be handled by a team of specialists. Dr. 

Scully's own obstetrician and a team from the neonatal unit would 

be in attendance. They would all be familiar with the procedure."



"Thank you, doctor."



"You're very welcome. Is there anything else I can clarify?"



"No, thanks. I'll make sure she's a proper couch potato tonight." 

His attempt at levity fell a little flat. 



The doctor stood signaling the end to the appointment, reaching 

out to shake his hand and escort them to the door. 



Mulder wasn't sure how he felt about leaving the feigned 

neutrality of the doctor's office.



**************







Chapter 30



Mulder chanced a glance over at his partner. She had been silent 

since leaving Parenti's office and he wasn't sure what his next 

move was. Her hands were fisted in her lap and her eyes focused 

on the lights splitting the darkness outside the car window. If 

Scully were true to form she would be looking to send him home as 

quickly as possible. Asking to come in was out of the question. 

He would just have to push his way through her walls and force 

the issue. 



Running out on her early in the morning wasn't his best move, but 

having a naked Scully next to him was unsettling. Watching her as 

she had lain beside him, looking so young and vulnerable, had 

stirred up feelings in him he wasn't sure how to deal with. He 

had felt happy, contentment covering him like a warm blanket, but 

then an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the path she was 

pursuing pushed it all aside and he'd panicked. It had scared the 

hell out of him. 



He pulled up in front of her building and she was out of the 

vehicle before it was turned off. He followed her through the 

front door, a silent shadow keeping pace behind her. She ignored 

him throughout the elevator ride and the short walk down the 

hallway. She didn't acknowledge him until they had reached her 

door.



"MulderÉ"



"I'm coming in, Scully." He watched her carefully, a tinge of 

satisfaction at his core as he read resignation in her face. 



"Whatever." She dropped her keys and bag inside the door. "I'm 

going to get out of this suit."



"Fine." He sat down on the armchair to wait. 



She was back moments later, her suit having been exchanged for an 

old pair of sweats. She settled herself on the couch across from 

him. 



"Why didn't you tell me?" 



She wouldn't meet his eyes and her answer was muffled behind her 

hands.



"Scully, can you tell me now?"



"Tell you what? You've heard most of it."



"Yeah, except why I had to hear it from the doctor at the 

eleventh hour."



"When would you have had me tell you? In the shower, during the 

fiasco that passed for a CDC operation? Or maybe I should have 

found a canine screen name of my own and joined your cozy little 

chat with Karin Berquist?"



"That isn't fair. This has nothing to do with a case. It's 

personal and I'm half of the equation."



"So now it's personal? It isn't your body. This is my life."



"I never once interfered with your right to decide, Scully, but 

we entered into this together, and right now I feel like one more 

person I care about is fucking me over."



"I am not Diana or Phoebe."

 

He raked his hands through his hair. "I didn't mean to imply that 

you were."



"I know that. But you can't confuse my choices with your bad 

experiences."



"I'm not. But you can't expect me to just step aside."



"Why not?"



"Because that isn't how I work."



"So, tell me."



"I don't know if you're ready to hear what I really think about 

the whole thing."



"Of course I am. I'm a big girl. If you're pissed at me, spit it 

out."



"I don't know if this conversation will fit with the doctor's no 

stress directive."



"In case you hadn't noticed, we've already passed the no stress 

mark."



"Okay. Why now? Why a baby? Why not another dog? Or are your 

motives purely selfish?"



"That is uncalled for."



"This is all your call. You decided to go ahead with this now. 

Without letting me in on all the facts. Shit, Scully, you should 

still be taking it easy according to Parenti. What if you do get 

pregnant and it puts pressure on the scar?"



"Oh, I see."



"No, I don't think you do _see_. Don't you know...I'd do anything 

for you? Anything. Even if it meant letting you go."



"I'm not asking for --"



"Don't, Scully."



"No, _you_ don't, Mulder. You consume me. You eat me up and spit 

me out. I'm only allowed in as far as you'll let me. You say 

you'd do anything for me, yet you keep key pieces of information 

from me and dole them out only when it serves your needs or 

you're forced to." She took a deep breath. "I know I come second 

to your search, I've come to terms with that." He moved to 

interject, but one look closed his mouth. "This is my reality and 

about what I need, Mulder. Maybe some of the reasons I want this 

baby so much _are_ selfish."



He winced, hearing his words spat back at him, but knew she was 

far too angry to pander to any regrets he might have about his 

choice of words. 



"This is my decision. You're just pissed you can't control every 

aspect of my life."



"I've never wanted to control you. To be able to control someone 

you'd have to be allowed to get close enough. You keep your heart 

behind an ice wall."



"I think you should go."



"No."



"No?"



"This time we finish the discussion."



"This isn't a discussion."



Mulder took a deep breath. It wasn't. It was a full out fight, 

one that had been brewing for a long time. She tended to collect 

problems, like other people collected dolls or stuffed animals. 

She gathered them up and tucked them away inside. He didn't think 

there could be any room left. On the other hand, he tended to 

ignore things, and he was sick of ignoring things. She was wound 

up tight as a ball, which didn't bode well for the doctor's 

instructions to avoid stress. 



"Truce, Scully. But I'm not going until we talk, and I do mean 

talk. I'll go make some tea while we both calm down."



"Can't."



"You can't what? Can't talk?" 



"The tea, I can't have caffeine." 



"So, I'll make herbal. I can tolerate peaches or whatever that 

floral shit is you drink sometimes." He smiled in an attempt to 

lighten things.



"It's not peach. It's mint. And it's in the blue canister." She 

failed to return his smile and he could only hope that the 

evening wasn't totally shot to hell.



**********



He had to admit the tea was soothing. It allowed him time to 

collect his thoughts and calm down. There had been a moment 

during their heated exchange when he heard his father's angry 

voice in place of his own. The last thing he wanted to do was 

become the man his father had become. 



"Where's your cell phone, Scully?"



She moved to get up off the couch. "I think it's --"



"Just tell me. You're supposed to be resting." He leaned over and 

gently pushed her back into the semi reclining position she had 

been in. 



"I'm not an invalid." Her protest was half hearted. 



This was a rare opportunity for him. He didn't often get a chance 

to tell her what to do, and have her listen. "Where?"



She pointed to the front hall where her purse and keys still sat 

on the floor. "It's in the outside pocket. Why?"



"Watch." He took both hers and his phone and moved close enough 

to let her see him turning them off. 



"Mulder, what if someone needs to get in touch with either of 

us?"



"It won't be all night." He paused. "Right?"



"You tell me. You're insisting we do this now."



He set the phones on the table and returned to the armchair. "May 

I?" He began to move the chair closer to the couch. 



"So long as it goes back to that exact spot."



Sometimes he had an overwhelming urge to run through her 

apartment and push everything out of place, but he doubted he'd 

get more than a raised eyebrow for his trouble. And then of 

course, he'd have to put it all to rights again. He moved the 

chair as close as he dared. 



"Your concern is that this interfere with your work." She set the 

cup on the table in front of her after taking a small sip.



"That's not true." 



"Yes it is, Mulder. And it's okay. I understood going into this 

that I was on my own."



"You are not alone. How many times do I have to say that before 

you'll believe it?"



"Then explain this morning."



**************