Outside of the Inside
By: afg – www.ofnoconsequence.com
Rating: PG-13
Category:  Post ep, angst. Team friendship and Sam/Teal'c 
Friendship
Disclaimer: Not mine and no money is being made.
Feedback: Lovely, to siggy.63@btinternet.com
Summary: Whiskey and mourning and why it's always good to 
have a Jaffa handy.
Notes: Written for the GateShip Wednesday Shorts 'Between Two 
Fires' Challenge

~oOo~

Jack smiled at the waitress as she delivered yet another pitcher of 
beer and a large Johnny Walkers to their table. The beer was for 
the guys the Black Label was all Carters. He was beginning to 
think that it had been a bad idea to get everybody out for a team 
night so soon after the Tollan disaster but he'd felt they needed to 
blow of a little steam, especially Sam. Now, he thought perhaps it 
would  have been wiser to hold off on that and let Carter get good 
and drunk at home instead of here amongst strangers who could 
never know what they had done.

"A toast." Sam picked up her glass and raised it. Sloshing a little of 
the russet liquid over her hand which she promptly licked up.

"Oh yeah" Jack thought this hadn't been one of his better plans.

"To what are we toasting, Major Carter?" Teal'c picked up his own 
glass of beer.

"To Tollana." Sam sounded frustrated as she nudged Daniel who 
was looking red eyed and sleepy. "Come on guys. We just watched 
a whole civilisation go to hell,  the least we can do is raise a glass." 

Jack winced at the volume "Keep it down Carter." 

Sam looked at him, her eyes seemed impossibly luminous with the 
haze of alcohol. "Keep it down. Why? So these nice people in their 
cosy suburbs can sleep peacefully at night?" She was getting 
louder. "Well why the hell should they? The whole damn galaxy is 
burning around us and we're supposed to keep quiet about it?" 
Sam had risen to her feet.

"Yes Carter, we're supposed to keep quiet about it. Now sit down, 
finish your drink and let's get out of here."   

"We left them. We left them and listened to their world die. People 
ought to know about that because there's probably no one left on 
Tollana to remember."

Jack looked across at the bar, they were beginning to attract 
attention.

"Sam, we remember and that's enough. Come on, Sam, sit down." 
Daniel took hold of her hand and tried to pull her back down next 
to him."

Sam shrugged him off almost violently. "No, Daniel it's, not 
enough, it's nowhere near enough." She gestured to the other 
patrons. "Look at them, they ought to know what's in store 
shouldn't they? There's going to be a time when we don't beat the 
odds and the Goa'uld will come…they'll come and they'll do the 
same damn thing to us that they did to the Tollans."  She was 
swaying slightly as she spoke.

"Carter you will sit down, right now."

"Is that an order, sir?" 

Jack heard the bitterness in her voice and knew it had gone beyond 
his control. "Teal'c."

In the time it took for Sam to turn her head in Teal'c's direction, 
the big man had stood up and the point of his elbow had hit her just 
behind her left ear and she knew no more.

Teal'c and Daniel eased her into a sitting position with her head 
resting on Daniel's shoulder. She looked like she had just fallen 
asleep.

"Sam hasn't been so bad in a long time." Daniel put his arm 
around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's my fault, I should have known better." Jack scrubbed 
his hands over his face. "Come on, let's get sleeping beauty 
home." 

Teal'c picked Sam up as if she weighed nothing and the three of 
them walked out of O'Malley's and into the parking lot. They 
drove to Sam's in silence. Daniel in the passenger seat and Tea'lc 
with Sam in the back, her head resting in his lap.

 "So, who's turn is it to baby sit?" Jack asked as they settled Sam 
into bed.

"I believe it is my turn, O'Neill." 

"I don't mind, Teal'c, if you want to get back to base." Daniel 
offered, looking not a little the worse for wear himself.

"It is no hardship, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c inclined his head at 
Daniel.

"Right then it's settled. Come on Daniel, I'll take you home." Jack 
ushered Daniel towards the door. "Remember we have a briefing a 
0900, T."

"I have not forgotten O'Neill."

"No, of course you haven't. See you in the morning."

"Tell Sam I'll have the coffee on." Daniel said as he and Jack 
stepped out of the front door.

"I will inform Major Carter." Teal'c closed the door. He walked 
back to the bedroom and checked on Sam. She had rolled onto her 
back and was snoring gently. He left the door slightly open and 
settled himself down on the sofa and turned on the TV. He flicked 
through the channels until he found one playing Star Wars; he 
nodded and settled down to watch.

~oOo~

Sam awoke feeling as though an entire herd of Wildebeest had 
decided to do their annual migration across her tongue and were 
now trampling their merry way over her brain.  

"Oh, God."

She gingerly opened her eyes to see not much of anything. She 
realized that she had her face smushed into her pillow, which was 
unpleasantly cold and slimy from her drool.

"Oh, God."

She lifted her head and saw a tall glass of iced water on her 
nightstand; little droplets of condensation running down the side of 
the glass. Beside it were two Advil.

"Major Carter, you are awake."

"She sat up carefully and saw Teal'c filling up the doorway."

"I really wish I wasn't…Mmmm, 'scuse me." Sam clapped her 
hand over her mouth and made a wobbly dash to her bathroom.

Teal'c heard the sound of violent retching. He waited patiently 
while she brushed her teeth and walked back in to the bedroom. 

"Sorry about that, Teal'c." 

"No need, Major Carter. You must drink your water."

Sam nodded and sat on the bed, downing the Advil with a sip of 
the cold water. She winced as she tipped her head back to swallow 
the pills. She rubbed her neck and rolled it tentatively in her 
shoulders. She got a vague flash of memory 

"You hit me?"

"Yes."

"Oh God, what did I do?"

"Do not worry Major Carter. You did nothing of any 
consequence."

"Really?"

"On my honour."

"So I don't need to fish my dress blues out for the court marshal?"

"You do not." Teal'c watched as her shoulders slumped in relief. 
"I will prepare breakfast while you complete your morning 
ablutions."

"I don't think I could eat anything." 

"You will feel better if you eat."

Sam nodded knowing she couldn't argue with Teal'c when he was 
determined. "What time is it?"

"It is 0630. We have a pre-mission briefing at 0900."

She had forgotten about that. A milk run to let Daniel look at some 
ruins SG-11 had come across on P3X- 552. "Give me fifteen 
minutes and I'll be ready for breakfast."

Teal'c bowed slightly and left her to it. Sam sighed and went back 
into her bathroom and turned on the shower. She took off the 
clothes she'd slept in from the night before. They smelled of 
whiskey and stale beer. He nose wrinkled at the odour. Hastily she 
stuffed them in the laundry hamper and then stepped in to the 
shower stall.

As the spray beat down over her body, she tried to remember what 
she'd said or done last night. Nothing came to mind. It wasn't 
often that she got angry or depressed enough to hit the whiskey but 
when she did it generally turned out to be a night everyone 
remembered except her. She must have been perilously close to a 
court marshal offence for Colonel O'Neill to have Teal'c take her 
down. Crap.

~oOo~

As she walked in to the kitchen, Teal'c was standing over the stove 
stirring a pan of scrambled eggs. Two slices of whole-wheat toast 
had been place on two plates lined up on the counter. He turned at 
the sound of her footfalls. She restrained a snort of laughter when 
he revealed the pink frilly apron he was sporting. Sam suspected 
the choice of cooking attire was entirely deliberate.

"Breakfast is ready, Major Carter." Teal'c stood there with a raised 
eyebrow and a spatula.

"Great, I'm actually hungry." Sam got two mugs and poured coffee 
into both, putting four teaspoons of sugar into Teal'c's. Teal'c 
placed the plate of toast and eggs in front of her and passed her the 
silverware and a paper napkin. "Thanks."

"You are welcome."

Silence reigned as they ate, and Sam could here rain hitting the 
windows.

 "Thanks for staying with me last night." 

Teal'c nodded and took a sip of coffee.

Sam looked at him for a beat. "He loved me, I think."

'Major Carter?"

"Narim, I think he loved me."

"I believe you are correct."

Sam dropped her gaze to her plate and felt unwanted tears 
blossom. "I didn't love him, I mean I liked him, very much. He 
was a sweet, gentle man, but I didn't love him."

Teal'c kept silent knowing that she needed to unburden herself.

"I left him. He knew it was hopeless. I should have tried harder to 
persuade him to come with us, but I didn't, I just left him to die 
with everyone else."  Tears fell in fat drops on to the remnants of 
her scrambled eggs.

"You could not have changed his mind, Major Carter. He was a 
man of honour who thought it better to die with his people than to 
live without them."

"I should have tried, though Teal'c."

"There was no time and he was set on his purpose. Had you waited 
you may have perished. Narim would not have wished for that to 
happen."

Sam nodded, knowing that Teal'c was right but unable to stop the 
tears. Her chest ached with trying to keep it all in but it was like 
faucet had been opened. She wasn't even sure who she was crying 
for, The Tollans, Narim or more shamefully, herself.

Teal'c stood up and walked around the counter to stand at her side. 
His hand rubbed her back feeling the judder of the muscles under 
her skin. She turned to him, her arms went around his neck and she 
hugged him so tightly he almost couldn't breathe. He held her to 
him and felt her breath chuff against his jaw.

After long minutes, Sam pulled away. She picked up her napkin 
and noisily blew her nose. "I'm sorry." She stood up and tossed the 
wad of paper in the bin.

"Apologies are not necessary. It is fitting that tears are shed for 
such a great loss. If you do not do it, then who will?"

She suddenly felt so tired. "Will it ever end, Teal'c?" 

"Everything ends, Major Carter."

"But will it end the way we want?" Sam knew she was being 
childish, asking impossible questions, but she couldn't help 
herself.

"I do not know. We can only fight and endeavour not to despair."

Sam suddenly understood that this man standing in her kitchen had 
spent more years then she could imagine doing just that. 
"Endeavour not to despair." She walked up to him and kissed him 
softly on the cheek "Thank you Teal'c." 

"You are most welcome, Major Carter."

They stood for a moment until Sam sighed. "I'd better do the 
washing up."

"I will assist you."

She looked up at him. "You already have." 


The end.