Looking on
By: afg
Rating: PG13 
Discliamer:Not mine and no money is being made
Written for Gateship's Wednesday Shorts
Jolinars Memories/Devil You Know challenge.   
 

 
I sit here and watch the both of them, feeling like a voyeur. No 
one should have to witness such an intimate moment between 
two people, but circumstances insist that that I stay. I can only 
imagine the way Martouf must be feeling, I had Sha're for such 
a short time and her absence is a constant ache in my gut. He 
had Jolinar for a century. Then to be told what she had to do to 
get out of this very literal hellhole. It's beyond understanding.
 
Then there is Sam I have no idea of what she must be feeling. 
To have to explain to the lover of the person who's memories 
corrupt your own until it's almost impossible to separate the 
two of you, that you/she had fuck your/her way out of here that 
you/she had to betray their bond. I turn away but I can't help 
but hear her, as she tells Martouf how much Jolinar loved him. 
Her voice, soft and nasal with her struggle to hold onto all that 
pain, Jolinar's as well as her own. 
 
They've gone quiet now. Martouf sits with his head bowed, no 
doubt waiting for his turn with Apophis; waiting for his 
memories to be used against him. Sam sits with Jacob, holding 
him in her arms, in a strange reversal of parent and child. Her 
face streaked with dirt and sweat and tears of shame that are 
not her own. It's a strange universe that we inhabit, strange and 
terrifying but for all that, wonderful because throughout it, 
there are beings who will sacrifice their lives and honour for 
those whom they love. I count myself lucky to be in the 
company of some of them.